Disciplining our Children
Disciplining children has probably never been a task that parents have enjoyed. However, as Christians we know that it is important to discipline our children and train them up in the fear of the Lord. As it says in Hebrews 12:7, 9- "For what son is not disciplined by his father? Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it." In fact, the Bible also tells us that even God disciplines us- "because the Lord disciplines those he loves, and he punishes everyone he accepts as a son." The book of Proverbs also tells the benefits of diciple, "Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it." Proverbs 22:6
It is difficult to raise children in a godly way in today's world- with both parents working and the often negative influences of television and internet. However, we can still raise our children as God wants us to. Below are some ways that can help in disciplining our children:
1. Be Firm
Children know when they can get away with 'not listening'. It's best to state firmly what it is you want your child to do. For example, tell your child in a firm manner "I want you to clean your room". Set a time limit for the task you've given. It is important to remember to be gentle and kind while administering discipline of any kind. If spanking or any other form of discipline is done in anger or irritation, the child will get the wrong message.
2. Have logical consequences
Spanking is not the only option for disciplining children. Use disciplinary methods that will teach children appropriate lessons. For example, if a child breaks a neighbor's window, have them do chores until they have earned enough money to replace the window.
3. Let the child provide alternatives/ options
If a child breaks a rule, explain to the child that they have broken your trust and that they need to be punished. Instead of deciding on the punishment yourself, have the child decide what they can do to "make-up" their wrong-doing. For example, if a teenager has stayed out past his curfew, instead of taking away his car, let him think of other ways that he can help out at the house or spend more time with you as a means of 'making up'.
4. Avoid conflicts
When your child understands why they are being disciplined and when the discipline is done in a 'fair' manner, this will avoid unnecessary conflicts or tension with your child. If you are bound to get angry or do something impulsively, it is best to take time to think of the appropriate discipline instead of wounding the child verbally.
5. Plan Ahead
Inform your children ahead of time what it is that you expect from them. If you expect your child to have the lights out at 10:00pm, let them know by 9:00pm that lights have to be out in an hour. That way the child can prepare and get his/her work done.
6. Be persistent
Your child might not learn the right thing to do the first time so parents need to be persistent with their discipline- applying appropriate consequences. |
